Step #1: Place food coloring in a small bowl. Dip 1 side of each almond into the food coloring. Place the almonds on paper towels to dry.
Step #2: Separate the yolk from the white of 1 egg. Discard the white or save it for something else. In a small bowl, whisk together the yolk, the other whole egg and the vanilla. In a mixing bowl, beat the butter, powdered sugar, sugar and salt until creamy. Add the egg mixture and beat until smooth. Add about 12/3 cups of flour and stir just until the flour is mixed in. Cover and refrigerate for about 30 minutes.
Step #3: Preheat the oven to 350°. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Step #4: Remove a small amount of dough at a time from the refrigerator. On a floured surface, roll about 1 teaspoon of dough into a finger shape, mixing in more flour as needed to make it stiff. Push up the dough for the knuckles and mark lines in those places with the back of a butter knife. Move fingers to the baking sheet. Press a red almond near the end of each finger for the fingernail, pushing the dough gently around the edges of the fingernail to make unsightly hangnails, if you'd like. Repeat with remaining dough.
Step #5: Bake until lightly browned, about 12 minutes. Move to a cooling rack.
For added grossness!
Serve with slimy snot.